Introduction

You have seen those extremely brilliant ant-Linux anti-Linux trolls that demonstrate their brilliance on IRC channels, message boards, and blog posts, right?

(No, I’m not talking about the Linux Hater. He is a different kind of animal. The Linux Hater is actually useful to the Linux community.)

Now, I bet that you’ve always wanted to become one of those trolls. You probably think it is grand to spread around misinformation, right? If you didn’t, you probably shouldn’t be reading this post.

General tips

1) Study the work of other trolls.

Other trolls have done a lot of fine-tuning of their flamebaiting skills, and you should observe their techniques in order for you to become a top-notch troll.

2) Be an anti-Mac OS X troll too.

GNU/Linux and OS X are both Unix-like operating systems. It is difficult to be a hater of Linux, a lover of Max OS X, and still look like a realistic troll. Loving Mac OS X and hating Linux is something that you might get to graduate to when you become a more advanced troll.

Though, should you ever become among the trolling elite and decide to be pro-Mac and anti-Linux, remember to register new accounts at all your favorite websites and chat rooms, or people will notice your change.

3) Be knowledgeable about Linux, but not too knowledgeable.

If you clearly know nothing about Linux, people aren’t going to listen to you. If you know a ton about Linux, then people are going to wonder why you know so much about Linux when you clearly hate it.

The goal is to get to a happy medium where people trust your opinions on Linux, but don’t suspect you to be secretly pro-Linux.

Account-related tips

1) Use multiple accounts.

People on the Internet aren’t very likely to listen to just one anonymous commentor, so remember to register at least five accounts per website or IRC server. You should also be registered on at least ten different websites/IRC channels, which hints at a total of at least 50 accounts per troll. Really good trolls, though, might need more accounts.

2) Choose strong, unique passwords for each of the accounts.

You might be tempted to choose the same password or same pattern for the passwords to your (at least) 50 accounts. This, of course, is very bad behavior because it would be catastrophic if even one of your accounts was accessed by a pro-Linux or even OS-neutral person.

Choosing long, unique, and hard to predict passwords is a good strategy to make sure that all of your trolling accounts are kept safe. Try using password managers such as Keepass to keep track of all the passwords you will have.

3) Aim for high or low karma.

Many websites and social networks have the concept of karma. That is, users can vote the comments of other users up or down. Comments with high karma are sometimes more visible on certain websites. Comments with low karma are usually hidden.

If your comment has high karma, other users like how you phrased your point, which means that you are a good troll. If your comment has low karma, it means that people do not like what you are saying and wish that you would not say it. Having comments with low karma is a sign that you are a good troll.

Website-related tips

1) Get your own websites (and domain names).

While posting comments or sending messages on other websites/IRC channels is a good strategy, there is always the chance that your comments will get deleted and/or you will get banned.

Having your own website is a better strategy. Getting a domain name is not necessary for having your own website, but it makes your website look more believable, which in turn makes you a more efficient troll.

Getting a website at Freewebs or another host is not recommended, due to the lack of control you have over the webpage. Buying shared hosting, and some domain names too, is the best way to create a troll website.

2) Remember to use SEO tactics on your websites.

Getting your websites into high ranking positions in search engines maximizes your visibility as a troll. The ultimate goal of an angry anti-Linux troll is to have every major search engine return anti-Linux webpages when the keyword “Linux” is searched.

3) Remember to follow usability guidelines on your websites.

Making sure that your website works well when it is read by screen readers and such seems like a waste of time, but it is necessary for the troll that wants everybody to hear the anti-Linux message.

Conclusion

While the life of a troll isn’t for everybody, these tips can make it easier for beginning anti-Linux trolls to get started.

No trolling in these comments, though.

Introduction

Adobe Flash, while it appears to be buggier on Linux, is a neat thing. I can watch animations and play games right through my web browser. Now, I would prefer that Adobe Flash not be put to the use of making entire websites, or even major parts of websites, such as a navigation menu.

Flash usability hasn’t had major improvements in eight years, as evident by Jakob Nielsen’s similar article on Flash and usability.

Why too much Flash is bad

1) The user interface is nonstandard.

Flash websites have a tendency to make their own (shinier) scroll bars to help me navigate large amounts of text.

A web designer creating his or her own scrollbar, and then refusing to let me use the browser’s scrollbar is like the web designer poking holes in my car’s tires and replacing the tires with cardboard boxes. Well, perhaps I’m being a bit dramatic with the metaphor.

Interaction with the user interface also totally gives the user unexpected surprises. Most Flash websites do not allow me to right-click*, middle-click, or use my web browser’s scroll bar.

*Whenever I say, “no right-click”, I mean that the user cannot access a context menu from right-clicking.

2) Flash websites often take longer to load.

Oftentimes, I want good ol’ fashioned text coming down the pipeline to my screen. I do not want:

• text animations.
• animations of somewhat related images.
• sound.
• a screen that tells me that the above three are loading.

3) Ctrl+F doesn’t work on Flash websites.

I cannot use text manipulation tools to edit or search the webpage. I cannot type Ctrl+F and then search the text of the page. Greasemonkey would not work well in all-Flash websites. Neither would bookmarklets or Firefox extensions that allow me to manipulate the page.

4) OS-specific Flash Player bugs

I recently visited a website that had a bug with an embedded Flash slideshow. The bug was only visible when using the Linux Flash Player. On Windows, even on Firefox, the Flash slideshow worked perfectly.

The bug was that the Javascript drop down navigation was being hidden under the Flash slideshow on Linux, which made most of the menu inaccessible.

Designers shouldn’t have to test on multiple operating systems, because the vast majority of designers probably do not have the time or resources to do so.

5) Redundancy

Plenty of website designers will provide a plain HTML version of the content on the website for users that do not have Adobe Flash. I just don’t understand why there needs two versions of a webpage, with one being flashier than the other.

The main usability issue here is that any text or link pointing to the HTML version is often in very small text and sometimes only visible to users that do not use Flash. Users that do have Flash and want to use the text version might have a hard time finding the text version.

6) Redundancy

Sorry, I couldn’t resist.

Conclusion

I would rather visit an ugly webpage full of HTML hacks that were inserted by a poorly coded WYSIWYG editor than an impressive looking (but completely unusable) Flash website.

Why?

Because in an HTML website, the defaults are more usable because defaults in HTML pages are what most users are used to. In an HTML page, developers would have to go out of their way to create some of the annoyances that are common on Flash websites.

The vast majority of people that create HTML pages don’t have an impulse to disable right-clicking in the browser, or to make their own scrollbar when the browser has a scrollbar that works just fine.

So, please. I beg you to start an HTML page with a DOCTYPE tag, end it with </html>, and make sure that the only uses of Flash in between are not for displaying text and images.

UPDATE: For a really good read on a user switching from Windows to Linux, I suggest that you check out this blog post.

It’s the argument that many people use against Linux. It’s hard to install. Well, considering that both Windows and Mac OSX actually come with the computer, and Linux doesn’t, Linux is at an unfair disadvantage here. I say that installing Windows from CD is just as hard. The exception is if you got your Windows CD from the hardware vendor, as the CD is guaranteed to have all the drivers in that case.

If you want to a comparison, you can check out this Windows installation tutorial and Ubuntu installation tutorial, both on Wikihow. Wait, what about burning the Ubuntu ISO? That might be too hard. But wait! You can actually get your Ubuntu CD mailed to you.

Of course, people keep complaining about how difficult it is to install Linux. A lot of people say that the partitioning options confuse them. Well, that’s because I’ve noticed people are more likely to use the entire disk when installing Windows, but set up a dual-boot when installing Linux. Unfair? Yup.

But, there’s a change happening. Dell is offering computers that come with Linux pre-installed! Yay! This is a start to a future where Linux can actually equally compete with Windows and Mac OSX.

Of course, those computers running Linux have been out for a while now. Have the silly, annoying myths about Linux disappeared? Nope. Everybody thinks that you need to be a terminal whiz and a 1337 programmer to run Linux. Considering that I started using Linux before I actually got good at the terminal, I think that other people can manage it too.

Pretty much any Windows power-user should be capable of installing Linux on a computer, barring some rare and horrific driver problem (which has never happened to my friends and I). So far, I have converted two friends to Linux. One of them started using Linux (Ubuntu Dapper Drake) when he was nine years old. Seriously (Here is his website). If those two friends of mine can do it, so can you.

What about those that aren’t power-users at all, but have difficulty doing some of the most basic tasks? In that case, I suggest that they should get a computer from Dell that offers Linux pre-installed.

Of course, while Dell has made a huge step to making Linux available to the average person, it will take a long time for the average person to start using Linux. The main reason for this is that a lot of people don’t see the need to get a new computer or install a new operating system.

But one day, we’ll see if I can ask my mother how to install Amarok and see if she can answer the question.